-She's never flirted with the ways of the wicked.
-She could care less who wins "The Bachelor/ette".
-She doesn't know who Kim Kardashian is.
-To her Brad Pitt is just a guy with a nice body and an "old man's face".
-"Matt, What's that movie? Something about kung fu, with a panda, or something?"
-Doing mummy kicks during "Insanity" Workouts becomes fun.
-Her Laugh that can be heard from miles away...Literally.
-She doesn't care if you match or whether your jeans cost $5 or $150. The cheaper the better.
-She gets ready in 5 minutes and has never made me wait on her.
-She doesn't need to take anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 hours to look pretty.
-She understands as Naomi Wolf once proclaimed, "Women are trained to see ourselves as cheap imitations of fashion photographs, rather than seeing fashion photographs as cheap imitations of women...”
-She makes the meanest mexican rice I've ever had...which is saying a lot.
-When she woke up at 5:30am in the mornings to student teach she would turn the scriptures on the laptop and set it next to me every morning for 3 months.
-She lets me be the crazy cat guy.
-She hates running so much sometimes, but her fastest mile is still 5:04.
-You will never find one hint of artificialness whether physical, or spiritual in her life.
-That crazy little "Lacee dance" she does is probably the coolest thing ever invented.
-She leaves notes in a bottle for me to find.
-She didn't know you have to rinse after you brush your teeth...still in debate.
-She believes everything I say... for better or for worse.
-Nobody else would look so good in a matching v-neck driving me on her handlebars.
-She fed me when I lived in a tent.
-I've never seen her try to impress someone with the way she's dressed or applied makeup.
-She cares more about the Denver Broncos and OKC Thunder, than any other TV show that she doesn't watch anyways
-She wakes up in the middle of the night and says, "I feel dirty compared to the house."
-At 12:01am she wakes up from my typing, not knowing the time and I say, "Hey Lacee..." to which she replies, "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!" She can be so quick... just by hearing the tone in my voice.
-For a week straight she spilled or broke something out of the fridge at the precise time everyday.
-Also for a week everyday she made my nose bleed on accident.
-She couldn't tell a lie to save her or my life.
-She makes up her own lyrics to songs that she believes to be correct, "I wish you would jump off of that ledge my friend..."
-She's so good with money.
-She hates shopping.
-She's better at free throws than I am.
-She still has small specks of toenail polish on her toes from a year ago when we got married.
-To her $5 spent on fingernail polish is half an hour of work not worth spending.
-I thought being married to a woman would be so much more expensive.
-She may be the only woman alive who can handle my sarcasm and smart a-ness.
-Anytime the subject of computer brands come up I can guarantee she will say, "I love macs because its just so easy to click and drag things into folders." verbatim...
-She sleeps in a bed I created on 2 book shelfs and a cinderblock piller, 6 feet off the ground, entitled "Megabed".
-She spent 4 hours with me under our bed watching a cat give birth.
-She has no shame.
-There isn't anything in our relationship we pretend to not know about or talk about.
-She's mastered MY move onto the bed a.k.a. "The Flying Walrus".
-Her phone had to be made in the 80's and its not tied to her hip.
-She says things like, "People post the darndest things on Facebook."
-She turns into a zombie every night around 11pm.
-She's the only girl that has punched my arm hard enough to make it go numb.
-She allowed a last minute honeymoon in which we slept on a twin size mattress due to shortage of notice.
-She scoots me off the bed weekly with her butt, while sleeping, which is now hazardous due to Megabed.
-She's my "Little Chef"... chef in training.
-Is committed to me.
-She has the innocence of a child and the maturity of adult.
-She balances my over zealousness.
-She talks more with her hands than her mouth... you just have to know her to get it.
-She didn't care when I threw away her favorite shoes that I didn't know where her favorite.
-I own more shoes than her.
-She says things like, "Hey, Matt, Let me do those dishes, my feet are shorter so I can stand closer to the sink."
-She is the best at keeping a conversation going with herself.
-We complete each other's awkward turtle.
-I've never heard her yell, swear, or get upset...not once.
-She is the Better Half.
PS- If Lacee was a riddle that took eternity to solve, I'd take my chances...
